Kindergarten is Now R-Rated

The day I have been dreading has come. When I picked up Monkey from Kindergarten Friday afternoon these were the first words out of his mouth, "My friend told me he and his sister had sex." I was so stunned I almost started laughing. I squatted down to have a more private conversation with my son and quietly asked him to say that again, "Well, no," he corrected himself, "my friend said his sister and his brother had sex." Looking back now I think I should have made a beeline for the teacher and told her immediatly what Monkey had just told me. But I was feeling anxious about the conversation I was going to have to have with Monkey now and too wrapped up in my own thoughts. I told Monkey I was glad he told me and we'd discuss it more in the car.

On the way to the car I was wracking my brain with what I wanted to say. It felt like this was a defining moment in my child's development and in our relationship. If I botched this could I do permenant damage to my son's not yet developed sexuallity? Could I actually alienate him at age 6 in this area of discussion so he never wanted to talk to me about sex again? I was totally freaked out that I wouldn't say the right things and Monkey would be negativly effected for life. I felt totally ill equiped to have this discussion. Yeah, me the Social Worker wasn't sure what to say about this. So, I did the only thing I could do, I asked (no, I begged) God to guide me.

After all that mental drama and trauma the conversation went really well. Monkey did have questions and wanted to talk about it. Fortunalty this boy didn't tell Monkey what the act of sex was and when I asked Monkey what he thought sex was he replied "when people kiss and love". I didn't elaborate and thankfully he didn't ask. However, there was a moment of discomfort when I explained that that sex was a good thing but for married grown-ups only. Monkey didn't miss a beat and asked me " Do you and Daddy have sex?" At first I answered that it was "none of your business" but then quickly remembered that I told him he could ask me anything about sex and I wanted to keep the lines of communications "open". So I told him (trying desperatly to hide my embarrassment) that yep we do.

When Monkey asked why kids shouldn't talk about or have sex, this perfect anaolgy came to me (thank you God!) of driving a car. I told Monkey that sex was like driving a car. Kids are too young to do it and they could get hurt. I didn't really address the whole incest issue in what he had told me, (he said that it was siblings who "had sex"). I didn't see the need to go there with a 6 year old. But I did have to cover the whole good touching/bad touching stuff in case Monkey was ever faced with a kid or a grown-up wanted to do sexual things with him (oh please God no!).

All-in-all I think I got through the whole "first talk about sex" pretty well. What do you think, did I cover the important stuff? No matter how well it went I am still sad that the bloom is now falling off of Monkey's rose. If I had it my way we would be having this conversation in about 3-4 years, right around pre-puberty but I figured in this day and age it would be sooner. I am mourning the bit of Monkey's innocence that is now lost.