Personal Ad

When I was single and had a good, healthy group of girlfriends all I wanted was a boyfriend and get married. Well, I caught my Prince Charming and have had 10 (almost 11) glorious years with him and I find that as wonderful as he is I really miss my girlfriends!!! I'm actually not just noticing this now, I noticed the hole an absence of female friends made in my life in my first year of marriage. But it's just not that easy to make good female friends as a grown-up and we moved around a lot as newlyweds which makes it even tougher and then once you have kids, well FORGET IT! I barely have time to shower each day much less seek out fabulous women who "get me". Many times you have to spend a great deal of time with people before you know if they are kindred spirits or not. Time I don't have to spend or if I do find the time, the would-be BFF and I are trying to get to know each other in between managing our children on the playground, "Oh, I LOVED that book too, did you read.....Sammy! Get down from there before you break your neck!..........her second novel?..............Jane please don't eat the grass doggies go pee pee and poo poo there...............it was a terrific summer read.........excuse me I have to stop my son from showing his penis to those little girls in the sandbox, he's going through a phase............." So with the constant interruptions it's hard to get to know a person. And then say you do get to know her and you find you don't have that much in common or she just doesn't "get you". Perhaps you do have a lot in common but she's weighed down with personal problems and wants to lean on you too much (I had a girlfriend a couple of years ago that I had to "assign" her own ringtone on my cell phone because she called with a personal crisis several times a DAY!). You may discover she's in a bad marriage and bashes her husband constantly or dishes out unwanted advice at you all the time. And then there are people who are just plain psycho, needy or weird (hmm, some may put me into that last catagory....). I know we have all spend several hours with a friend who seems to be a great find for a while but then you seem to have a weird vibe between you during a coffee date at Starbucks and the conversation isn't flowing like it has before and things fizzle out from there. Or after you've spent some time with her you start to get annoyed that she keeps telling you how to deal with your 5 year old when her oldest is 6 months old. Perhaps she shows her green side and gets mad at you for spending time with another friend (if you are lucky to find a second friend!) The worst is when it becomes obvious that she likes you more than you like her and you are having to create some distance between the two of you but she keeps calling and calling and making it hard for you to say "no" without hurting her feelings. Sheesh! Finding friends as a grown up is a lot like it was trying to find a boyfriend was except without the romantic stuff AND I was only trying to find ONE boyfriend, now I'm seeking a few girlfriends to keep myself well balanced and it seems like an impossible task. A very important task none the less, my sanity is dependent on finding at least two women who I can develop a deep friendship with. I'm tempted to run a personal ad to find girlfriends, here's how it might read..........

Wanted a handful of gal pals for long walks to the local playground, the occasional girl's night out with moijtos, discussions about the latest children's book and current New York bestsellers, laughter, tears, more laughter and more tears, private jokes, honest opinions, casseroles when I'm sick and vice versa, a ear when I need to vent and vice versa, shared babysitting, shopping buddies, pedicure pals, stroller sisters and lots more laughter. Respondants must have a good sense of humor and a good sense of themselves, able to have a meaningful conversation with constant interuptions from little people under 5 ft tall, open, honest, considerate, forgiving and less than perfect. Fans of NPR, the Laurie Berkner Band, good books, strong coffee and old movies a plus. Martha Stewart wanabees, Denise Austin worshipers, know-it-all advice givers, gossip gals, I-weigh-110-pounds-but-think-I'm-fat, I-can't-leave-the-house-without-full-makeup-and-wardrobe, my-house-is-always-spotless and my-children-are-perfectly-behaved NEED NOT APPLY! Also, I have 3 children already so no Needy Nellies please. Contact Lonley SAHM 555-9176.