"We come to verse 26 today where we’re told that this virtuous woman opens her mouth. Now, this is the first verse that says anything about this woman talking. That should tell us something. This is not a woman who talks too much. She’s not known for her talking.
There are other qualities that she’s known for—her servant’s heart, her compassion, her tenderness, her diligence—but when people think of this woman, it’s not what she talks about that’s the first thing that comes to mind. 'She opens her mouth with wisdom, And on her tongue is the law of kindness.'
I love this verse. Well, maybe I shouldn’t say I love this verse. What I really mean is, I need this verse, and it’s a verse in Proverbs 31, probably more than any other, that I come back to over and over again. 'She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law [or the teaching] of kindness'—wisdom and kindness.
Pow! This verse hits me right in the gut! All the other attributes that Proverbs 31 talks about a virtuous wife possessing seem do-able but this one, to speak with wisdom and the law of kindness, seem impossible to me without God's constant help. You see I'm a talker, a big talker. There is a family joke that I "starting talking at 9 months old and haven't stopped since". I tend to just let it all fly out without much thought to what I'm going to say ahead of time. Occasionally this has been a benefit to me but 95% of the time it's a curse. So as I read verse 26 today I thought, how on earth am I going to speak wisdom and be kind when I do it to boot?
What's funny is for years I have thought that taming the tongue was harder for me than most people but it seems that it's a problem very common to humanity. We all need to watch what we say because words are so powerful. James 3:7-8 says " 7All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, 8but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison."
I have been making an effort to speak kindly to my family in the past week. Once I was more conscious of it I will admit I think I was speaking unkindly more often than I realized. I have this "tone" that I use that emits all my irritation or anger. My husband calls it "snapping". "Why did you just snap at me?" He'll ask and when he does 1/2 the time I'm unaware that I just "snapped". My husband and my kids noticed my efforts to be kinder in my tone. It is a very good discipline to work on speaking kindly to our family!
Now I just have to work on speaking with wisdom. That is a very hard thing to "work on" really. It seems to come from maturity and experiences. However, I do think I have the wisdom already to work on being slow to speak. I need to use that wisdom to my advantage and think before I utter a word!
Here is the version of Proverbs 31:10-31 I read today, it's the King James Version:
10Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
11The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
12She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
13She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
14She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
15She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
16She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
17She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
18She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.
19She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
20She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
21She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
22She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
23Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
24She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
25Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
26She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
27She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
28Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
29Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
30Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
31Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.
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