Since it seems that I don't know I have PMS until my period shows up and then I look back and go "Ohhhhhhhh, that's what that's what was wrong with me." I am writing it down so maybe next time I'll know to go hide in a cave for a few days and leave my poor family alone.
Top Ten Signs I have PMS
10. I'm eating chocolate covered pretzels before 9 am.
9. I'm crying at the last scene in Little Miss Sunshine, a scene that usually makes my sides hurt from laughing. Hell, I'm crying at everything.
8. My husband and children are suddenly the most selfish people on the planet who can't seem to leave me alone for TWO SECONDS!!!!!!!!
7. I move like a pregnant yak.
6. I feel like a pregnant yak.
5. I'm eating chocolate covered pretzels at noon.
4. I have the grace of an elephant in stiletto heels.
3. I want to have sex all the time.
2. I don't ever want to have sex again.
1. It's 9 pm, the bag of chocolate covered pretzels is gone and I'm running out to the store to get more.
So, now you know what kind of day I'm having............................
Monday, June 23, 2008
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Picture Worth 1,000 of My Words.........
I am having this kind of a day. Heck, this kind of a week! I laughed until I cried when I saw this picture and I was laughing because I can really relate to it right now. My "stuff" is sure weighing me down. Moving stinks and moving with 3 kids stinks to high heaven because it seems like I unpack a box and Babyzilla comes behind me and pulls everything I just unpacked out of the drawer I just put it in. One step forward, eight steps back. Then there are two tornados, disguised as my sons, who whirl in after school tossing backpacks, lunch pails and papers everywhere. So I'm trying to pick up our daily "stuff" and unpack at the same time and it's like trying to walk a straight line during an earthquake.
We've been here over a week now and I'm about 1/8 unpacked. I did all the nessesary stuff right away, kitchen, bedrooms, bathrooms and now I'm having a heck of a time getting to the unnessesary stuff like books for example. Books that we will never read again but have a "need" to hold onto for some reason. I am TOTALLY OVERWHELMED with the amount of "stuff" the five of us have!!!!!! It makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time. It also makes me want to throw it all in the street and light a match. What do we need all this stuff for????? Sigh. Well, I'd better stop procrastinating and get back to it.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
My $100 Store
I call Target the "ultimate impulse buy store". I never leave there without spending $100. Even if I only go into Target for 2-3 items I always wind up finding many other things I "need" and the total always hovers around the $100 mark. I know it's a marketing plan of theirs to lure people in for toilet paper and socks and then sell them other things but I wonder sometimes about the $100, is that in their plan too? Those tricky devils! And I fall for it over and over again. But today however was worse. You see we are settling in to our new home and so there are many things I truly do need and I have been shopping quite a bit lately. I've been to Bed, Bath and Beyond (what is the "Beyond" section suppose to have in it exactly?), Home Depot (twice and I have to go back yet again), Toys R Us (well, the baby just HAD to have a sand and water table for our new yard) but I had been staying away from Target to avoid the impluse buying that turns what should be a $40 shopping trip into a $100 one!!!!
So here was what was on my list today: "socks for Monkey, JetDry, shampoo and brush to scrub the bathtubs". That's what about $20 worth of stuff, right? How much did I spend? Sit down, $257.67. Holy Cow!!! That's some expensive socks!!!!! To be fair to myself I did remember several things while I was there that I truly did need. My husband and I have been squeezing the toothpaste really, really hard for a couple of days now eeking out the last drop of toothpaste, been out of Children's Motrin for a while now, the boys are in desperate need of summer PJ's, etc. But then there are other things I purchased that I certainly don't need like 2 more outfits for the baby (she has more clothes that both the boys put together!), a new soap dispenser for the boy's bathroom (they don't wash their hands 1/2 the time I shouldn't have bothered), some reuseable juice containers for the boy's lunch boxes (which I'm sure I'll tire of and go back to store bought juice boxes eventually) and more washclothes for the baby (which I don't think she really needs, I just need to do laundry more often). And the list goes on.
I don't have a shopping "problem", (I'm not an out of control shopper with $80,000 in credit card debit that I'm keeping a secret from my husband and I need to email Oprah so I can get on her show and get some help), however, I would like to control my impulse buying at Target!!!!!!! I don't seem to impluse buy at other stores to the extent that I do at Target. What is it about that store? I know, I know, those Tricky Marketing Devils "made me do it" with their Perfect Product Placement and Eye Catching signs with phrases like "clearance" that draw me closer to take a look. I know they do it on purpose and I know how to beat them, just buy what's on the list. But I let them get me everytime. I think I'll avoid the T store for a while. Other places sell TP, right?
So here was what was on my list today: "socks for Monkey, JetDry, shampoo and brush to scrub the bathtubs". That's what about $20 worth of stuff, right? How much did I spend? Sit down, $257.67. Holy Cow!!! That's some expensive socks!!!!! To be fair to myself I did remember several things while I was there that I truly did need. My husband and I have been squeezing the toothpaste really, really hard for a couple of days now eeking out the last drop of toothpaste, been out of Children's Motrin for a while now, the boys are in desperate need of summer PJ's, etc. But then there are other things I purchased that I certainly don't need like 2 more outfits for the baby (she has more clothes that both the boys put together!), a new soap dispenser for the boy's bathroom (they don't wash their hands 1/2 the time I shouldn't have bothered), some reuseable juice containers for the boy's lunch boxes (which I'm sure I'll tire of and go back to store bought juice boxes eventually) and more washclothes for the baby (which I don't think she really needs, I just need to do laundry more often). And the list goes on.
I don't have a shopping "problem", (I'm not an out of control shopper with $80,000 in credit card debit that I'm keeping a secret from my husband and I need to email Oprah so I can get on her show and get some help), however, I would like to control my impulse buying at Target!!!!!!! I don't seem to impluse buy at other stores to the extent that I do at Target. What is it about that store? I know, I know, those Tricky Marketing Devils "made me do it" with their Perfect Product Placement and Eye Catching signs with phrases like "clearance" that draw me closer to take a look. I know they do it on purpose and I know how to beat them, just buy what's on the list. But I let them get me everytime. I think I'll avoid the T store for a while. Other places sell TP, right?
Sunday, June 1, 2008
The Next Reality Series!!!!
THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES
Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car each and 3 kids each for six weeks.
Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes. There is no fast food.
Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, and complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of 'pretend' bills with not enough money. In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week.
Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives, and send cards out on time--no emailing. Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment. He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care.
He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function. Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times.
The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.
The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, adorn himself with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep fingernails polished and eyebrows groomed.
During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties.
They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting. They will need to read a book to the kids each night and in the morning, feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair by 7:00 am.
A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor's name. Also the child's weight at birth, length, time of birth, and length of labor, each child's favorite color, middle name, favorite snack, favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up.
The kids vote them off the island based on performance. The last man wins only if...he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment's notice.
If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18-25 years eventually earning the right To be called Mother!
Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car each and 3 kids each for six weeks.
Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes. There is no fast food.
Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, and complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of 'pretend' bills with not enough money. In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week.
Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives, and send cards out on time--no emailing. Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment. He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care.
He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function. Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times.
The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.
The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, adorn himself with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep fingernails polished and eyebrows groomed.
During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties.
They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting. They will need to read a book to the kids each night and in the morning, feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair by 7:00 am.
A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor's name. Also the child's weight at birth, length, time of birth, and length of labor, each child's favorite color, middle name, favorite snack, favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up.
The kids vote them off the island based on performance. The last man wins only if...he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment's notice.
If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18-25 years eventually earning the right To be called Mother!
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