Okay, what caused me to make this resolution? It started with my husband's complaints. I know, I know whose husband doesn't want more, um, relations? They ALL say they don't get enough, right? At first I ignored them and thought he was crazy. I thought we were having, um, relations a lot. However, when I tracked it....we were averaging a little less than once a week or about 3 times a month. I had estimated it was more like 3 times a week! Boy was I off, eh? I know that 3-4 times a month is normal for most married couples, especially those with young children, but I think we can do better
First of all, I like, um, having relations with my husband. He ain't no slouch in bed and I should be taking advantage of his talents! Having, um, relations reduces many of the negative effects of stress and I have a lot of stress! Of course, just as important as my needs, I should be taking better care of his needs. I read that men need to have a um, release, at least once every 3 days. Otherwise things start to get painful in the Family Jewels! I once heard an older, married woman compare it to the pain we feel when our breasts are engorged with milk. OUCH! I don't want dear hubby feeling that pain!
This same woman (she was a speaker I heard at Women of Faith in 1999) who likened blue balls to breastfeeding engorgement said that sometimes as she's getting ready for bed and she is tired but she knows her dear husband is ready for action she prays that God will help her to "get herself in the mood". She said it's not that she doesn't like having, um, relations with her husband but we women tend to neglect our sensual side. Our minds are on 100 different things, we are usually tired at the end of the day and emotionally spent. At the end of the day we don't feel very attractive as we pull on our PJ's and wash our face. We feel more like a dirty dishrag than a beautiful woman ready for, um, relating and sometimes our husbands need to respect how we feel and give us a little cuddle (a cuddle that doesn't lead to more now gentleman....). But on the other side of the coin, it seems fair to say that the other half the time we need to make the effort and "get in the mood." According to the woman I mentioned above you can actually pray about your, um, relation drive!
And it makes us feel more connected as a couple. Last year hubby and I had the worst fight we have ever had. We didn't speak for 2 days and once we did things were still strained for 3 more days. We have been married for 13 years and until this fight, we have NEVER gone even 12 hours without speaking. So you get it, it was a DOOZY of a marital conflict for us. A real humdinger. We finally patched things up on day 5 but didn't have, um, relations for a couple more days. I remember as we lie there after the um, relating, I heard dear hubby whisper, Now I feel married again. And I thanked God that He gave us something so physical, so tangible to connect us together as husband and wife. Not that um, relations, is the only thing that makes us connect to each other but it's a powerful way to say to each other "You are a part of me!"
So, more, um, relations will be going on around here. Now I don't kiss and tell so I will not be updating my progress on this Resolution but I will tell you what my plan is. TMI? Well then stop reading! My plan is simple, to have, um, relations with my husband every 3 days. Yes, I know that's a lot to go from 3 times a month to 3 times a week but for all the reasons listed above I'm going to give it a shot! I printed out a year long calendar here: timeanddate.com and I'm going to keep it in my bedside table and circle the dates we have, um, relations. I will keep an eye on my little relations calendar and if it's been more than 3 days I need to make an effort to head to bed a bit earlier and start things up!
Here is to a very Happy New Year for my husband and for me. A Happy New Year for our marriage really. You know what they say, um, having relations leads to don't you? Talking! Oh baby, oh baby that's right, talk to me more about your........feelings.....Ha ha ha!
Can we just call it sex now?
