Friday, October 31, 2008

We Were Swindled

A few years ago DH and I had quite a bit of credit card debt. We were fine, making our payments but I wanted to be smart about it. I wanted to consolidate them and pay them off BEFORE we had trouble making payments. I didn't anticipate having trouble but we kept using them whenever we had an emergency (like car repair, leaky roof, etc). I couldn't make our credit card payments and save too so I was looking for some expert advice. I picked the wrong place, Ameridebt. The long and the short of it is they were crooks. They had us pay them one lump payment and they were supposed to pay our credit cards but they didn't pay our credit cards. We gave them $1,200 before we found out that we were delinquent on all of our 3 cards! We called Ameridebt, we emailed them, we tried to get in touch any way we knew how but they had vanished.

So we borrowed some money against our mortgage and "fixed" our situation. Thankfully we had options, I'm sure many people that Ameridebt ripped off had no options. Like I said this was a few years ago, maybe 2005? Anyway, there was a class action lawsuit filed and just today I got our "settlement". For the $1,200 we gave these crooks plus the late fees we racked up, and all the problems it caused us we got a measly $61.08. I'm so frustrated right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I also went to the link about the lawsuit and found out that the main defendant behind Ameridebt, Andris Pukke (no kidding that's his real name), was ordered to pay $35 million dollars but refused. He spent some time in jail and then finally paid some money but not the $35 million. I wonder how much we would have gotten back if Mr. Pukke had paid what the courts ordered him too. http://www.polacsekclass.com/

I'm going to have to pray for the ability to forgive Mr. Pukke because right now I'm feeling pretty mad and unforgiving. I will be meditating on Matthew 6:14-15. "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if you forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."

Sunday, October 26, 2008

A Now For Something Completly Different............

Note: For the 1 or 2 single women who read my blog the subject matter of this post is about marital sex. For the sake of purity, you may want to skip reading this one if you are single.

After my last blog this one is going to be a bit of a shock. This is going to be quite the 180 but here goes. I have found the most interesting website that is quite a blessing to me as a Christian wife. It is www.christiannymphos.org. Yes, you read that right. My husband sent it to me because he thought it was a joke. He didn't go to the site itself (good boy!) he just heard about it and thought it was funny. Well, it's not funny per se. It's an awesome Christian ministry that a handful of very open, daring women have that exists to help married women have fulfilling sex lives with their husbands (of course!). I was VERY skeptical when I first looked at it and I almost closed it out without really looking at it for fear I would see something offensive but I didn't. These women are very honest, very sexual and very godly. Although they believe in lots of spicy ways to spend time in the bedroom they also believe in very strict boundaries and the Bible is the ultimate authority on what is and is not okay sexually speaking. Even though they explain how they came up with their name "Christian Nymphos" I think they should have chosen something other than "nympho" because to most people (especially Christian women) that word means something sinful but I digress.............

I recommend checking the site out if you are a Christian woman looking to spice up her love life. Or if you just want to see that some of the things you feel sexually for your husband or things you have done sexually with your husband are "normal" in the Christian circles. I have been married 11 years and until I found this site I wondered if some of the things DH and I do are okay, meaning okay with God. (Don't worry, I won't go into detail, that's between me and DH =}. ) I always thought our sex life was acceptable to God but sometimes I thought maybe I was the only Christian woman on the planet who engaged in certain sexual activities with her husband (again, no details). But the Christian Nymphos made me aware that there are many, many Christian women out there who have spicy sex lives and do not offend God with their bedroom activities!

The first time DH and I had sex after I'd found the site I felt such a freedom to enjoy what I was doing. For the first time in 11 years of marriage, sex finally felt completely right. It had always felt mostly right but for some reason I thought I was the only Christian woman who enjoyed sex so I felt guilty about it. I know, I know crazy girl!!!!! Of course that's crazy and when I think about that now I feel stupid to have ever thought that. But I'm very glad that I found the site and that I freed myself from thinking anything that God created was even a little bit "bad" and that lots of solid Christian couples were enjoying the "act of marriage" in lots of creative ways.

I told DH I had actually learned a few new tricks on the site but when we had sex I was having such a good time with our old tricks that I forgot all about the new stuff. Afterward I think DH was a little disappointed (although not very disappointed, most men are pretty happy after sex) because I didn't do anything new. But I had more fun than usual because I was finally uninhibited.

Anyway, check it out if you want to. If you are totally fulfilled sexually, good for you and God Bless your bedroom activities!!!!!! Now I know that God DOES bless bedroom activities! Oh my goodness, am I blushing?????

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Coming Apart at the Seams

I know what my mother would say to me..........."This too shall pass." Maybe I'll give her a call later so I can hear her say it. I know that the struggles of today will not be with me forever and those words gives me some comfort but then I look around me at my 1/2 put together, 1/2 falling apart, 1/2 clean, 1/2 messy house and feel disheartened. I look down at the weird outfit I pulled out of a basket of what I think was clean clothes in the dark this morning and wonder what the other moms on the school playground thought of my garnet colored sweatpants paired with a light purple shirt. And as I sigh over the frumpy, rumpled, mismatched ensemble I've thrown on my back I notice my big belly, spreading thighs and think of the ample backyard behind me and I sigh again.

I feel like I'm 1/2 way there on everything right now and the struggle to be "whole" is making me feel like coming apart at the seams. I constantly feel the weight of everything I have to do: clean house, make meals, no, make HEALTHY meals, exercise, lose weight, give the kids attention, sort through all our crap from the move, sell most of the crap on craigslist, finish decorating my home, read my Bible, pray, find a playgroup for Baby Girl, find friends for myself, make dentist appointments, balance the family budget, set up some therapies for Bear, laundry, laundry, laundry, oh and did I mention laundry? I feel buried and paralyzed most of the time and I'm tired of feeling this way. Will I ever have a clean, organized home? Will I ever lose weight? Will I ever give God part of my day to read His word and pray? Will I ever feel like I've done enough for my kids?

In an effort to get out from under the "rubble" of my daily list of "to do's" I have been staying up until 12-1am trying to finish up all the work I have from left over from the day. It doesn't seem to be helping. I'm exhausted and honestly not much more put together than I normally am. Certainly not more organized enough to be worth losing all that sleep. I keep thinking if I just had some help I would be more together but I can't think of what people could help me with except take care of my kids I guess. But then they will bring the kids back to me and I will struggle to maintain what I've organized!!!!! I feel like I need full-time daycare to be a SAHM. How ridiculous is that statement?!?!?!?! I often struggle with the thought that I should just go back to work, hire a full-time, full-charge nanny/household manager and let someone else do my job because I suck at it.

Why do I think I suck at it? It seems like other moms are more together than I am. I look at the other moms in the morning taking their kids to school and they have matching outfits on, look like they have showered in the past two days and some of them even have MAKE-UP on! They don't look haggard, or frustrated or tired. Another example, I am trying to join a babysitting co-op and I went to a couple of "meet-and-greets" this weekend. A "meet-and-greet" is when you go to one of the co-ops homes to check it out and make sure you feel comfortable taking your child there. The two ladies homes I visited were much more put together than mine! Well, you just moved, you might say to me. Well, these ladies just moved too. One moved into her home in March and the other in June (which is when I moved in to this house). Well, you have a special needs child, you might say to me. Well, the one mom had a down syndrome toddler AND 3 children like I do. SO WHAT IS MY PROBLEM? Do I not know how to be a homemaker or am I just lazy? Are these two moms the exception to the rule? Somehow I have a sneaking suspicion that they are not. I am the exception to the rule.

It doesn't help that I am married to the poster boy for organization. My DH is orderly, on-time, disciplined and responsible. His "yes means yes" and his "no means no". He does what he says he will do and he does it right away. Sometimes I console myself with the fact that when he does his work he doesn't have 3 little people hanging on his legs keeping him from his work but I think he could do my job better even with the kids hanging all over him.

Gosh, I'm in a foul mood and done complaining now. The pity party is over gotta get back to work. This too shall pass.........I think.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Nobody Liked My Chili but Me..............

..............sigh. I've been trying to cook the Traditional Foods way www.westonaprice.org and yesterday I made this gorgeous chili with grass fed ground beef, kidney & pinto beans, corn and zucchini. Along with garlic, onion, various spices I added a can of organic pureed tomato and three strips of uncured nitrate-free bacon along with the grease (the Traditional diet is BIG on animal fats. Supposedly you have to eat fat to lose fat? We'll see...........). I thought it was fabulous but hubby said it wasn't "hot" enough, Bear really struggled with the zucchini and Monkey ate it but said he "didn't like it". So I'm discouraged because I worked so hard on dinner and I was the only one who enjoyed it ={. Actually, come to think of it, Baby Girl liked it too. Maybe it's a Chick Chili =}. So if you are getting together with your girlfriends for a Bible Study or Bunco Night, try my chili =}

Crockpot Chick Chili
2 lb ground beef (preferably grass-fed)
2-3 cloves garlic minced
1 small onion finely chopped
1 32 oz can pureed tomato
1 c. beef broth
1 15 oz can red kidney beans
1 15 oz can pinto beans
salt and pepper (to taste)
1-2 t. chili powder
1 T. garlic powder
2 t. basil
1-2 t. oregano
1 t. cumin
1 c. cooked sweet corn
2-3 medium raw zucchini chopped into big chunks
2-3 strips of cooked bacon (finely chopped) w/the grease

top with:
shredded cheese (optional)
sour cream or plain yogurt (optional)

Brown ground beef with onion and garlic, drain and set aside. Put bacon in pan and cook until crispy. Combine the remaining ingredients in a crockpot and add beef (don't forget to add the bacon grease!). Mix and taste, add more seasonings if you want. Cook for 2+ hours on low, needs at least 2 hours, will be better if you cook it more like 4 hours. Serve topped with shredded cheese and sour cream or plain yogurt. Enjoy Chicas!

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Disgusted, Angry, Regretful and Determined

I am DISGUSTED by this video and the information in it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4IGtDPG4UfI&feature=related

Note: If you've ever eaten at McDonald's or other fast food (who hasn't) you may find this video a bit disgusting and disturbing but you HAVE to watch it before you feed your children a Happy Meal again!

I'm ANGRY that the fast food industry has fed us this crap and marketed it to our CHILDREN for so long and I'm ANGRY at consumers for allowing it to happen. Basically I'm angry at myself.

I'm REGRETFUL for every fast food meal I've ever consumed and even more REGRETFUL, to the point of tears, that I ever allowed my children to put McCrap's, non-food substances into their precious bodies.

Finally, I'm DETERMINED to NEVER, EVER put that non-food garbage into my body or my children's bodies again! I used to let them eat fast food with other people (friends, relatives, etc) NOPE! After that video I'm now one of those irritating moms who will insist on healthy food for her kids no matter where they are. (Forgive me kids..........you'll thank me one day =}).

Forgive us Lord, we know not what we do and even when we DO know, sometimes we do it anyway!

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Just No Fun At All

Want to know what's really painful? A kidney infection. Yeah, it really, really hurts. It started Wednesday, I just had this all over "yucky" feeling. I was bopping around the house doing my thing when all of a sudden I felt sick to my stomach, really tired and I had this overwhelming urge to lay down. That feeling of malaise continued through Thursday and Friday and I chalked it up to PMS. Then Friday night my back started hurting. The pain was in the middle of my back and on both sides. Not a "normal" back pain for me. I have no idea what made me think I might have a urinary tract infection but for some reason decided to get home test strips from the pharmacy. The stick turned dark purple immediately indicating infection.

So, since it was Saturday, off to Urgent Care I went. Apparently the stick the nurse dipped in my urine at the Urgent Care turned dark purple too. The doctor said I had a pretty bad bladder infection. However, he was baffled that it doesn't hurt when I pee like is common with bladder infections. I told him my back hurt so he said, "oh it's a kidney infection then." Urgent Care docs.....hmmmmm....

Then there was more drama at the Pharmacy. I forgot to tell them doc I'm still nursing but I remembered to ask the pharmacist if I could take the antibiotic the doc prescribed while nursing. He said "no". So there was faxing back and forth between the pharmacy and the Urgent Care. The pharmacy was closing and the issue still hadn't been resolved so it looked like if I wanted to start the antibiotic immediately (which was probably a good idea) I would have to suddenly wean Baby Girl. Sheesh!! I made the (probably unwise) decision to forego the antibiotic and try to get the matter resolved in the morning. I was really worried though and prayed when I got home that God would help me somehow. And He did. The doctor called me and said that the antibiotic is safe for a nursing mom as long as the baby is older than 2 months. I did some checking on the Internet and yep, safe. That idiotic pharmacist!!!!!! What a waste of everyone's time. I told him my daughter was 17 months and I only nursed her 2 times a day. So Urgent Care Doc faxed a new prescription over to a 24 hr pharmacy and I started taking it last night. Whew!

Today I've had 2 rounds of the antibiotic but honestly I don't feel much better and my back hurts worse. I've been dulling the pain with 800 mg of Advil. It it's not better by tomorrow I'm going to have to go to my regular doc. This is so annoying! And painful. Lovely weekend it's been on the couch.

Friday, October 10, 2008

I have a few choice words for my hormones...

Why is it that some months PMS is worse than others? This month for some reason I am neck deep in female hormones and my poor family is suffering for it. I am super snappy, wickedly weepy and horribly horny. I'm also dropping everything, totally clumsy, I can't focus, exhausted, I can't focus (oh, did I say that already......) and bloated up like a big fat blubbery whale. I dream about chocolate at night and chomp on it constantly all day. It's so bad this month if I didn't know better I would think I was pregnant.

I know I'm not telling any of my "readers" =} anything they don't know or experience. I just have to pound it all out on my keyboard. It's making me feel better somehow. Well, moment's gone. I think I'll go chug down some chocolate milk while I aimlessly roam around the house 1/2 accomplishing tasks.

My poor children, my poor husband. Now I know why tribal cultures sent their women to grass huts outside the village during that "time of the month". I used to think it was because they were bleeding and they didn't want the blood all over their huts. Now I realize it's because they are crazy. Being alone in a grass hut sounds pretty good right now. If I wasn't terrified of going through menopause I would take herbs or whatever to usher it in quickly. Unfortunately I have about 10 years (TEN YEARS) of this crap left. I hate being a girl.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Honey the Miracle Drug Part 2

7 DAYS LATER AND IT'S STILL WORKING! Alita is sleeping through the night!!! I'm still not caught up on sleep but I see the end in sight. If you have a kiddo who can't sleep or has trouble going to sleep TRY IT!!!!

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Honey-the Miracle Drug

I read this kooky thing about honey, that if you take a 1 teaspoon to 1 tablespoon before bed it can help you sleep better. It's supposed to help kids too and Baby Girl has never been a good sleeper. She usually wakes up at least once at night and won't go back to sleep until I nurse her. She is also usually an early riser (5am, even when it's still dark out). Baby Girl is old enough for honey and I'm desperate for her to sleep better at night I decided to try it.

I have given Baby Girl about 1/2-3/4 t. of honey before bed for the last 3 nights and SHAZAAM! Sleeping all the way through the night and sleeping until 7am!!!!!!!!!! She has "stirred" a bit and make a couple of noises in the middle of the night but she quickly goes back to sleep and I don't have get out of bed and nurse her! As I type this it's 7:15am and she IS STILL ASLEEP!!!

I have tried EVERYTHING to get that kid to sleep better at night and nothing has seemed to make a difference except the honey. It's only been 3 nights but she has NEVER slept through the night for 3 nights in a row and NEVER slept past 6am. I guess sometimes kooky ideas work. If this keeps up I just may actually get some real rest for the first time since she's been born and start feel human again in a couple of weeks, okay maybe a couple of months...............

I'll let you all know if it doesn't continue to work as well. If you have trouble sleeping I recommend trying it!!!